Tiny my cat is 18 years old. I adopted her and her sister, Zora, summer of 1995. I was newly graduated from college and finally living in my own pet friendly apartment. She has almost been with me half my life. The thing is, she’s dying. I know it. I don’t think she will shake this latest odd behavior off. Tomorrow a vet that makes house calls is coming to check her out. I know what they are going to tell me. It’s time. I just don’t feel ready to put her to sleep. I feel like I don’t have any options. I don’t know why I’m not ready. I mean she is 18. She’s lived a great kitty life with me. Her sister Zora faded last year and I had to put her down. I think one reason I am feeling so conflicted is because we all love Tiny so much. My kids play with her daily. Even Craig has a little love for her. She really is part of the family. As sad as putting Zora to sleep, she was my cat only. Loyal to me till the end.

I am very aware that they are pets. Having held my beloved loved ones as they died, I know true grief. However I am still struggling because she is struggling. She isn’t eating much and she seems to be gasping to breathe. I wish there was hospice for pets at home. I really want her to die here at home but comfortably. I wish such a thing existed.